Hi. Welcome to my HealingChildhoodLoss vlog at HealingChildhoodLoss.com. It’s a website I made for those of us who lost a parent when we were a child for the healing aspect. And I’m in a series right now of talking about imprints and today I want to talk about the imprint of being nice and being sweet. You see I was brought up in West Texas. And when I was that age, you know a child, it was important to be nice and be sweet. And in fact, my grandmother had a saying, pretty is as pretty does. And it’s even on the wall of someone in my family right now. And that was her mantra, sort of, be sweet be nice always turn the other cheek be a bigger person, she might say. And you know, for the most part, I think that really works out well in life. We need to give other people the benefit of the doubt. We need to be nice. It seems like some of the niceties have fallen by the wayside. But you know I see parents in my office telling their children to pick up their toys, and be nice and take care of themselves, be responsible. There are still a lot of people who have a high value on being nice and being sweet. I think the sweet part is kind of Texan but being nice never hurts anyone. I remember the Pay It Forward. I mean that’s talking about being nice, being nice for no reason just being nice because that’s who you are. That’s how you want to behave in the world. That’s how you want to act. And that’s the way you want to be toward other people. And, of course when we are nice to other people we would also like for them to be nice to us. Doesn’t always work out. You know I was really imprinted with this. You know my grandmother, I thought she was on her deathbed. I was in the fourth grade and my uncle came to a theater one night to get me because I had gone to a movie with a friend, and he said, “Do you want to stay here or go with me?” Granny’s in the hospital and she’s not good. Of course, I wanted to go with him. I wanted to see granny. It freaked me out to think that Granny was sick because I had seen her earlier in the day and she looked ok to me. She was very ill and they transferred her to Lubbock, but I did see her before they transferred her. And what she said to me, I’ll never forget. She put her hand out to me on my hand and said, “be sweet.” So you see that is really imprinted on me to be sweet. It’s not that I always am. I have moments. Believe me I’m sure there are people who could tell you I’ve had my moments of not being sweet, but it’s imprinted in me to be sweet whether I am or not. And so that means that when I’m imprinted to be sweet and I’m not, I can typically feel guilty about it. That’s what you have to work on. It is like, well that was the way things worked out and I don’t have to feel guilty guilt doesn’t ever help anyone. So from my grandma I’ve got to be sweet and be nice. From my grandpa. I got a saying that I heard him say many times, “you’re borrowing trouble.” So if you worry, you’re borrowing trouble. And so it has been important to me not to worry. Hey I don’t need to borrow trouble. If troubles knocking, I’ll know it soon enough right? No point in worrying about it. So I hope that you will think of these things how were you imprinted to behave. And were you imprinted to worry or to not worry. Have a great day and I will see you next week.